My Birthday

Today is my birthday and I must say it is a bittersweet one. On the one hand I have enjoyed today for the most part. On the other hand, my birthday has been coloured by three deaths in my life this week. The first I have already written about on this blog. Paddy Lee was loved by the classic film and classic TV blogger community and I know I can speak for all of us when I saw we will miss her. The second was an old pal from the late, lamented social network Google+. Chris Kim was an expatriate Missourian, so he could relate to many of my references to the state. He also had a great, if twisted, sense of humour, much as I do. Politically we agreed on just about everything (like me, he was a progressive). Chris was extremely proud of his nieces and he had reason to be. They are all accomplished, young women. The third person to die was my cousin Bernita. Bernita was my Aunt Annie's daughter. I really didn't know Bernita very well, as she moved to Wichita when I was really young (maybe before I was born). Still, she was kin and it is sad to know she is gone.

Of course, as usual I am thinking of my dearest friend Vanessa Marquez on this day. She always wished me, "Happy birthday," and always figured out a special way to do it. I still miss her so terribly it hurts. I watched her movie Twenty Bucks (1993) today as a means of spending the day with her. Tonight I will watch Stand and Deliver (1988), which celebrates its 34th anniversary tomorrow. It was released the day after my 25th birthday.

I hope I don't sound too downbeat here, as I don't feel that way. As I said earlier, I have enjoyed most of today. I have received several birthday greetings online and offline. My friends and siblings have made sure that today has been special for me. Particularly when one has experienced loss it is easy to forget about the good things in life, and there are many good things. It might seem odd, but its on my birthday as well as at Christmastime that I often think about the movie It's Wonderful Life (1946). To me the ultimate message of that film is Clarence's note to George in the copy of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer he gave him: "Remember, George, no man is a failure who has friends." I think that is something important for all of us to remember.