My Love Affair with Audrey Hepburn

It was 82 years ago that Audrey Hepburn was born. This brings me to a confession that has been one of the central truths of my existence for years. Ever since I was a lad I have been in love with Audrey Hepburn. Time has neither faded nor tarnished the ardour I feel for Miss Hepburn And short of Grace Kelly and one other, no other actress has ever had such a hold on my heart. Quite simply, I believe Audrey Hepburn was one of the most beautiful, most graceful, and classiest ladies in the history of mankind.

If anyone is to blame for my unrequited love for Audrey Hepburn, it is perhaps my father. I was only around 8 years old when My Fair Lady came on the television. Being a typical boy, I wanted to change the channel. After all, this was a musical and every boy knows musicals are for sissies. Little did I know that, outside of Westerns, musicals were his favourite genre of motion picture. He persuaded me to watch the movie, telling me that I should give it a chance, that I might like it. Little did he know what he had done. At eight years old I was still at that age where I thought girls were "yucky," but once I laid eyes on Audrey Hepburn, especially after Professor Higgins had cleaned Eliza Doolittle up, I was hopelessly, irrevocably in love. On that night my father not only changed my mind about musicals, he also created another Audrey Hepburn fan.

It would  be some time before I would see Breakfast at Tiffany's, but when I did I once more found myself drawn to Audrey. And the process would be repeated with each Audrey Hepburn movie I saw: Sabrina, Roman Holiday, Funny Face, it was always the same. I fell even deeper in love with Miss Hepburn. I was at university before I saw Charade and How to Steal a Million, but the result was the same. Even as an adult I found my heart belonged to Audrey Hepburn.

I know my story is not unique, as I know many men who fell in love with Audrey Hepburn as boys and love her to this day. And looking at Audrey Hepburn it is easy to see why a young boy would fall in love with her. With dark hair, big eyes, and full lips, Audrey Hepburn was incredibly beautiful. Indeed, in the Fifties and Sixties there were those who would say the recently deceased Elizabeth Taylor was the most beautiful woman in the world. I have to disagree. Even if it was not for Grace Kelly (the only actress who stole my heart as a child), Miss Taylor would have no claim to the title. It belonged to Audrey Hepburn . As a evidence I offer the fact that I have never seen another male watching an Audrey Hepburn who was not transfixed by her every moment she appeared on the screen.

Of course, this brings me to another point I would like to make about Audrey Hepburn. While Miss Hepburn almost never appears on the lists of sex symbols of the 20th Century, she was almost certainly one. As I pointed out in the previous paragraph, men find her incredibly attractive. And there is little reason they should not. True, Audrey did not possess the traditional hourglass figure of such sex symbols as Marilyn Monroe and Ava Gardner, but her beauty did not stop at her face. Audrey Hepburn had trained as a ballerina and possessed the figure of such.  When at her proper weight Audrey Hepburn's figure was every bit as attractive as that of the top sex symbols. Here I must point out that sex appeal goes beyond a woman's figure, however, as it is often in how a woman moves as well. And Audrey, trained as a ballerina, was perhaps the most graceful actress to ever appear on the big screen.

Beyond Audrey's beauty and her obvious sex appeal, however, I must point out that much of her attractiveness emerged simply because of who she was. Audrey Hepburn was not the typical movie star. She always conducted herself as a lady, never behaving in such a way that was unbecoming. If ever the word "lady" was true of a woman, it was true of Audrey Hepburn. Indeed, she was a woman who had endured much in her life, including the Dutch Famine of World War II. Perhaps because of this, Audrey Hepburn emerged as a woman who cared deeply about her fellow man. Audrey had worked for UNICEF as far back as the Fifties, and became a Goodwill Ambassador for the organisation in 1989. Even four months before her untimely death, Audrey Hepburn visited Somalia on behalf of UNICEF. Needless to say, Miss Hepburn's work for charity would endear her even more to me.

So it is that on this, Audrey Hepburn's 82nd birthday, I find myself still hopelessly in love with the woman. To me she was one of the classiest, most graceful, most beautiful women to have ever live. The fact is I have been in love with Audrey as long as some adults have been alive. I have to say that it is perhaps because of Audrey that I have a preference for brunettes, not to mention it is perhaps because of Audrey that I have certain  expectations of how a lady should behave. Except for Grace Kelly, no other actress has had such an impact on my life. And it is all because my father insisted I watch a musical....

Yvette Vickers R.I..P.

The mummified corpse of former Playboy Playmate and B-movie actress Yvette Vickers was discovered by a neighbour last week in her home in Los Angeles. Based upon the state of her corpse, it is believed that she could have been dead for up to one year. It is not believed that she died due to foul play, although the official cause of death has yet to be determined by the Los Angeles County coroner's office. Yvette Vickers was one of the earliest Playmates, as well as the star of such movies as Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958) and Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959).

Yvette Vickers was born Yvette Vedder in Kansas City, Missouri on 26 August 1936. Her parents were jazz musicians whom she often accompanied on tour. In 1950, when she was only 16, she began performing small local theatre productions. It was also in 1950 that she made her screen debut in an uncredited role in Sunset Boulevard. She also appeared that year in The Sound of Fury. She also adopted the stage name Yvette Vickers in 1950 as well.

In 1951 Miss Vickers enrolled in the University of California, Los Angeles. In 1953 she appeared in episodes of I Led Three Lives  and The Red Skelton Show. It was in 1954 that she received her big break, appearing in television adverts for White Rain shampoo. In 1956 Yvette Vickers' career began to take off. She guest starred on The Life and Legend of Wyatt Earp that year. From 1957 to 1960 Yvette Vickers appeared in such films as Reform School Girl (1957), Short Cut to Hell(1957), The Sad Sack (1957), I Mobster (1958), Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, The Saga of Hemp Brown (1958), and Attack of the Giant Leeches. She appeared in such TV shows as Mike Hammer, The Texan, Bat Masterson, Northwest Passage, Dragnet, and One Step Beyond. In July 1959 she appeared in Playboy as Playmate of the Month.

From the Sixties into the Eighties she appeared in such films as Pressure Point (1962), Hud (1963), Beach Party (1963), What's the Matter with Helen (1972), and Evil Spirits (1990). She appeared on the TV shows The Rebel, The Asphalt Jungle, The Bob Cummings Show, Tales of Well Fargo, My Three Sons, Emergency, and Switch.

In the Seventies Yvette Vickers would go into real estate and in the Nineties would begin singing jazz, recording CDs and appearing in cabarets.

I cannot in all honestly say that Yvette Vickers was a great actress, although she was certainly beautiful. That having been said, she was perfectly suited to the roles she played and she played them with a good deal of sincerity. It is perhaps that sincerity which makes Attack of the 50 Foot Woman and Attack of the Giant Leeches more memorable than many other B-movies. It is also perhaps the reason that Yvette Vickers remains remembered.

A Few Positive Thoughts About Facebook

Anyone who has read this blog regularly knows that I have complained several times in its pages about Facebook. To sum up those complaints, Facebook has made a habit of making changes that its users do not want and then refusing to do away with those changes no matter how loudly its users protest. That having been said, the past few days I have been reminded of some of the positive things about Facebook, things which in the end do outweigh the often distasteful changes the site makes.

Indeed, perhaps the chief advantage of Facebook is that it does allow individuals to stay in touch. This became readily apparent to my co-workers and myself as our office was made redundant. While many of us (my Number Two Best Friend and those who live in the same time as myself) would have no problem staying in touch, there are others who lived elsewhere in which keeping contact would be a problem. Facebook was then offered as a solution. Those of us with Facebook accounts added each other as friends if we had not already done so and many of those who did not have Facebooks then got them.  Ultimately Facebook will allow a very closely knit group of former co-workers to stay in touch.

Of course, another advantage, and one which Facebook for some bizarre reason seems to discourage, is meeting new people. Some of my closest friends of recent years I have met through Facebook. Given that they live in such distant places as England, Australia, and New Zealand, it is safe to say that I would not have met them if not for Facebook. These friendships have enriched my life greatly and I value them as much as those I have with people I have met in person. Beyond personal relationships Facebook has also proven to be a very good networking people. Through Facebook I have met people who could potentially be of help in my writing career. Many of my friends are also writers, while others are publishers, and editors.

Beyond creating personal relationships and being a good networking tool, Facebook has given me an opportunity to interact with famous people I would never have dreamed of being able to do so. I have discussed classic films with comic book legend Fred Hembeck and joked around with actress and writer Jewel Shepard. I have become close enough to some comic book professionals that I consider them friends.

Over all, these advantages outweigh the irritation of Facebook making changes that its users do not want. In fact, it is because of these advantages that I often grow so angry with Facebook making changes that reduce the site's usefulness and the user's enjoyment. Facebook is a great tool for staying in touch with old friends and making new ones. Unfortunately, the changes the site often makes detract from the site's usefulness. And I fear that if Facebook continues making changes, its usefulness will ultimately come to and end. Regardless, as Facebook is right now it does have is advantages. At least I know I can stay in touch with my former co-workers. r

The End of the Job

Tonight saw the last episode of The Office to star Steve Carell. He is leaving the show to pursue other projects.  His departure was written into the show, as Michael Scott and his long time love Holly had decided to move to Colorado. Oddly enough, my life reflects that of Michael Scott to a degree. No, I am not engaged, nor am I voluntarily leaving my job. That having been said, my job ends tomorrow at 6:00 PM. The office at which I have worked the past six and a half years is closing, a victim of advances in technology and the still none too healthy economy.

I must say that I do have mixed feelings about the loss of my job. On the one hand, I have always wanted to make a living writing, and I will certainly have the opportunity to try doing so without having to go to another job eight hours a day.  We are being given a severance, so I will not be hurting too much economically. On the other hand, I am entering a period of my life in which much is going to be uncertain. A regular pay cheque does offer a certain amount of security, and my benefits included such things as health, dental, and vision insurance. There is a lot I have taken for granted the past many years which I soon will not have.

Sadly, it seems to me that the loss of jobs has rarely been addressed in movies, despite the fact that it has been common in various periods of American and British history. It was not unusual during the Great Depression for films to depict the realities of being out of work. This was even true of fantasy films. In King Kong (1933) Anne Darrow (Fay Wray) was an actress desperately in need of work when she hired on to the expedition of filmmaker Carl Denham (Bruce Cabot). In My Man Godfrey, the homeless Godfrey (William Powell) had worked until the stock market crashed. Unfortunately, once we get past the Great Depression, most films ignore the economic realities of the time.

Indeed, I can only think of a few films after the Great Depression which deal with the subject of losing a job during hard economic times. The films Raising Arizona (1987), Wisdom (1986), and They Live (1988) all touched upon the harsh economic realities of the Eighties, but none of them specifically dealt with the end of jobs. In fact, the only film which comes to my mind that addresses the loss of jobs is the 1996 British film Brassed Off. The film depicts the struggles of a brass band in the village of Grimley (a thinly veiled, fiction version of the actual village of Grimethorpe) following the closure of the mine that employed most of the men there. The various villagers react to their unemployment in various ways, some of them downright tragic.

Given that losing one's job due to the closure of an office or plant is not unusual and certainly has not been unknown the past several years, one would think that more films would touch upon it. I can only guess that perhaps it is a subject that is much too depressing for most film makers to address. Regardless, it is something that many of us will go through, including myself beginning the day after tomorrow.

Poly Styrene Passes On

Poly Styrene, founder and leader of legendary punk band X-Ray Spex, passed yesterday, 25 April 2011, at the age of 53. The cause was breast cancer.

Poly Styrene was born Marianne Elliott-Said 3 July 1957 in Bromley, Kent.  She recorded her first single, a reggae song titled "Silly Billy," as Mari Elliot, which was released in 1976. It was after she watched The Sex Pistols perform in 1975 that she decided to form X-Ray Spex. She placed an advertisement in the newspaper and thus recruited Jak Airport (Jack Stafford) on guitar, Paul Dean on bass, Paul "B. P." Harding on drums, and Lora Logic (Susan Whitby) on saxophone. While X-Ray Spex would become one of the most respected punk band of the era, the road would not always be smooth for Poly Styrene. While playing in Doncaster she experienced hallucinations. She would return to X-Ray Spex, and the group recorded five singles and one album, Germ Free Adolescents.The band broke up in 1979.

Poly Styrene released a solo album, Translucence, in 1980. In 1986 she released the EP Gods and Goddesses. In 1991 X-Ray Specs reformed to perform at Brixton Academy. The band would reform once more in 1996 and release a second album, Conscious Consumer. X-Ray Spex disbanded, never to reform again. Poly Styerene would release two more albums, Flower Aeroplane (2004) and Generation Indigo (2010).

Neither X-Ray Spex nor Poly Styrene were very prolific in their careers, yet Poly Styrene would leave a mark nonetheless. Poly was a rebel even by punk standards. She was hardly a rock 'n' roll sex symbol, wearing heavy braces and dressing in Day-Glo colours. Indeed, she once swore that if she ever became considered a sex symbol, she would shave her head (and, in fact, she once did). Both with and without X-Ray Specs, her songs were for the most part positive, evincing none of the nihilism typical of the punk movement. What is more, her lyrics were often thought provoking and often political. A postmodern feminist who made her own way, Poly Styrene was unique.

TV Writer Madelyn Pugh Passes On

Madelyn Pugh, who wrote on some of the best episodes of I Love Lucy and other sitcoms, passed on 20 April 2011 at the age of 90.

Madelyn Pugh was born on 15 March 1921 in Indianapolis, Indiana. She attended high school with Kurt Vonnegut and wrote for the school newspaper. In 1942 she graduated from the University of Indiana with a degree in Journalism. She began her professional writing career with the radio station WIRE in Indianapolis in 1943. She moved onto the CBS network, where she met her writing partner Bob Carroll Jr. Together they wrote for the radio sitcom My Favourite Husband starring Lucille Ball. When Lucille Ball moved to television with I Love Lucy with husband Desi Arnaz, she took Miss Pugh and Mr. Carroll with her. Together they conceived some of the best remembered moments in the history of  episodic television. It was Madelyn Pugh and Bob Carroll Jr. who conceived the episode in which Lucy does a commercial for  Vitametavegmin, proceeding to get more and more drunk on the alcohol laden elixir with each take. In another memorable episode by Miss Pugh and Mr. Carroll and others ont the I Love Lucy  writing staff, Lucy tries to get Superman (played by George Reeves himself) to appear at Little Ricky's birthday party, masquerading as the Man of Steel himself when she fears he won't show. In all Miss Pugh worked on 174 episodes of I Love Lucy.

Madelyn Pugh and Bob Carroll Jr. would go onto work on the series of specials known as The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour, and later on Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse, The Tom Ewell Show, Vacation Playhouse, and The Carol Channing Show. It was natural that the writing team should work on The Lucy Show when it began in 1962 and later on Here's Lucy. They also worked extensively on the Desilu Sixties sitcom The -Mothers-in-Law, an attempt to revive the madcap comedy of I Love Lucy. They wrote the story for the 1968 movie Yours, Mine, and Ours. They would go onto write for Love American Style, The Paul Lynde Show, Sanford and Son. Alice, and Life with Lucy.

There can be no doubt that Madelyn Pugh and Bob Carroll Jr. masters of writing physical comedy.  In the course of writing I Love Lucy they wrote some of the most extreme bits of physical comedy in the history of television, from being overwhelmed by the fast pace of a conveyor belt at a chocolate factory to titanic loaves of bread emerging from the oven. Mr. Carroll and Miss Pugh often tested the stunts for the show, with Miss Pugh most often being the guinea pig. They were comedy writers who were rarely matched since and never has anyone done better than they have. They were undisputed masters when it came to physical comedy.

Every Movie is NOT Like Funny Girl

Those of you who subscribe to Netflix are no doubt familiar with the feature whereby when you search for a specific title, Netflix also provides you with similar titles also available on the service. It was last summer I decided to watch To Sir With Love (1967). When I conducted my search I noticed that Netflix recommended Funny Girl (1968) as one of the titles similar to To Sir With Love. How Funny Girl is similar to To Sir With Love I  do not know. To Sir With Love is a drama about a teacher in an urban school in London. Funny Girl is a musical comedy starring Barbara Streisand as Fanny Brice (about as great a bit of miscasting as there has ever been, in my humble opinion). At the time I dismissed it as an error and proceeded to watch To Sir With Love.

It was only a few days later that I was searching for Sixties movies featuring British bands of the era. Quite naturally, I typed in A Hard Day's Night (1964), counting on NetFlix to recommend similar movies to me and so lead me to such films as Ferry Cross the Mersey (1964) and The Ghost Goes Gear (1966). It recommended neither. It did not even recommend Catch Us If You Can (1965), the Dave Clark 5 movie and the only one to match The Beatles' films in quality. Instead Netflix claims that A Hard Day's Night is similar to (yes, that's right) Funny Girl. How A Hard Day's Night is similar to Funny Girl I do not know. A Hard Day's Night is a nearly plotless rock musical starring The Beatles while Funny Girl is a much more traditional musical starring a miscast Barbara Streisand as Fanny Brice. A search for Help! (1965) also yielded Funny Girl as a result. Needless to say Help! is about as similar to Funny Girl as A Hard Day's Night is.

It was then that I realised that this could be a recurring flaw in Netflix's similar movie feature. I then searched for such films as The Knack...and How to Get It (1965), The President's Analyst (1967), Pillow Talk (1959), My Fair Lady (1964), and various other films of the era. In nearly every case Funny Girl appeared among the "similar" films. I must confess I was very much relieved when I searched for Blowup (1967) and did not find Funny Girl listed as being similar to it!

I had not thought much of this anomaly, whereby Netflix apparently thinks a diverse array of movies are all similar to Funny Girl of late, until a few days ago when I searched for Jesus Christ Superstar (1974). What was the first movie Netflix listed as similar? That's right. Funny Girl. Now if anything Jesus Christ Superstar is even less similar to Funny Girl than A Hard Day's Night.After all, Jesus Christ Superstar is a rock opera based on the life of Jesus, ending with his crucifixion. Funny Girl is, well, about Fanny Brice (or, more accurately, Barbara Streisand masquerading as Fanny Brice).

Now I am not sure why Netflix insists that Funny Girl is similar to such varied films as A Hard Day's Night, The President's Analyst, My Fair Lady, and Jesus Christ Superstar. In fact, it is dissimilar to all of the films I have listed, except possibly My Fair Lady, which it at lest resembles insofar as both are traditional musicals. At any rate it makes no sense to me that someone looking for A Hard Day's Night and especially someone looking for dramas such as To Sir With Love would  be interested in Funny Girl. Hell, I love To Sir With Love, The Beatles' movies, The Presiden'ts Analyst, Pillow Talk, The Knack...and How to Get It, and Jesus Christ Superstar, but I do not particularly care for Funny Girl. In fact, the kindest thing I think that can be said about it is that it is not Hello Dolly (1968).

At any rate, I do hope that Netflix fixes this flaw in their system so that Funny Girl only appears in the similar movies list when searches are conducted for movies to which it is truly similar. That means it should not show up when one is searching for Planet of the Apes (1967) , Our Man Flint (1965), Send Me No Flowers (1964), or Peeping Tom (1960). If a movie is not a traditional musical, a period piece, and a comedy, chances are it is not similar to Funny Girl.