Kristen Stewart is Modesty Blaise!

Through reliable sources who wish to remain anonymous, I have just learned that there is going to be a big budget adaptation of  Peter O’Donnell’s classic comic strip Modesty Blaise. The film is being produced by Steven Spielberg and directed by David Fincher. The coveted role of Modesty has already been cast, with Kristen Stewart assuming the role played by Monica Vitti in the 1966 film.

On Miss Stewart’s casting, David Fincher said, “I’m so glad Kristen has been cast as Modesty. She is the best actress of our time and her sex appeal is guaranteed to bring in a young male audience.” Steven Spielberg agreed with David Fincher’s assessment of Miss Stewart, adding, “She combines the talent of Katharine Hepburn with the beauty of Hedy Lamarr.”

 While the 1966 film was set in the present day, the new Modesty Blaise film will be set in a cyberpunk future, with futuristic versions of London, Paris, and Venice. Lawrence G. Paull of Blade Runner fame will be the production designer on the film.

And if you believed any of this, do consider what today is…