Strange Cover Songs

By now I would say that if someone has not heard of Alanis Morissette's cover of The Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps" that they have either been living under a rock for the past month and a half or they simply don't have internet access. For those of you have neither seen the video (now one of the all time most popular videos on YouTube) nor heard the song, Morissette has given "My Humps" the full Morissette treatment. Her version of the song is downbeat and moody, complete with Morissette's usual, angst filled, soulful vocals. The video, in which Morissette dresses up like Fergie of The Black Eyed Peas and beats up men trying to touch, well, her humps, is a work of low budget genius. No one quite knows why Morissette covered "My Humps." Some think that it was meant as an ironic attack on modern popular music and the inanity of some of the lyrics (and, quite frankly, "My Humps" is about as inane as one can get). Others believe that it was a parody of her own tendency to perform covers of songs. Yet others believe that it was simply an April Fool's joke--given that it was released on April 1, this is a possibility. Regardless, Morissette's version does point out the inherent weaknesses of a song that repeats the words "my humps" 55 times and which is essentially a song about a woman's breasts...

Regardless, Alanis Morissette's version of "My Humps" is not the first strange remake of a song. And it probably won't be the last. In fact, rock music has a long history of artists taking songs and turning them into something else entirely. The first off kilter cover version of a song of which I became aware was "The Locomotion" by Grand Funk. Originally a dance hit released by Little Eva, Grand Funk turned it into, well, a hard rock dance hit.

A far stranger cover was "Love Hurts" by Nazareth, from their album Hair of the Dog. The song was originally recorded by the Everly Brothers and later by Roy Orbison (it was the B-side of "Running Scared"). The original Everly Brothers version is gentle and soft, a bit slower paced than some of their better known songs (such as "Wake Up, Little Suzy"). Roy Orbison performed "Love Hurts" as more of a novelty, an unusual choice for a man known for his ballads. But Nazareth turned "Love Hurts" into one of the earliest power ballads, packing it with a sense of tragedy not present in any of the earlier versions. Ironically, it would be Nazareth's version that would become the best known.

Aerosmith worked a similar transformation, in some ways more drastic, on "Remember (Walking in the Sand)." The original was the debut hit of the girl group The Shangri-Las, released in 1964. The song relates how a girl is parted from her beloved, only to receive a letter from him two years later telling her he has found someone new. The song, already tragic, was performed as a heavy metal ballad by Aerosmith on their album Night in the Ruts and was somehow made even more tragic. Quite simply, they changed the line from The Shangri-Las version, "Oh, what will happen to/The life I gave to you..." to "Oh, whatever happened to/that night I gave it to you..." I always interpreted this to mean that he gave her a ring, as in an engagement ring. In other words, he not only lost the woman he loved, but his betrothed as well.

I must admit that it seems to me that songs by female vocalists have always been ripe for strange cover versions. In 1980 Dave Stewart (not to be confused with Dave Stewart of Eurythmics fame) and Barbara Gaskin recorded a synth pop version of "It's My Party." The original song was released in 1963 and performed by Lesley Gore. For their version, Dave Stewart and Barbara Gaskin slowed down the tempo and relied heavily on keyboards. The result would be a song that is somehow even more depressing than the original. Of course, that other Dave Stewart (the one of Eurythmics fame) would also be involved in a cover originally performed by a female artist. The Tourists, the group Dave Stewart and Annie Lennox were with before Eurythmics, remade "I Only Want to Be With You." The Tourists' version isn't really too far off from the Dusty Springfiend original (released in 1963 as her debut, solo single, and a pre-Beatles British song that broke the American top forty). That having been said, they did make the song harder and added synthesisers (for which Eurythmics would later become famous).

At least Barbara Gaskin and Annie Lennox are female. As in the case of Aerosmith's remake of "Remember (Walking in the Sand)," when a song originally performed by a woman is remade by men, it is going to be drastically different. A case in point is The Crystals hit, "Then He Kissed Me," remade by KISS as "Then She Kissed Me" for their album Love Gun. They took a song that was typical of girl groups of the early to mid Sixties and turned it into a heavy metal song. For their 1989 album The Adventures of Women & Men Without Hate in the 21st Century, Canadian band Men Without Hats covered the ABBA song "S.O.S.," turning it into a post apocalyptic love song. Of course, even that wasn't as drastic as the changes that have been wrought on "Hit Me Baby One More Time," the debut hit of Britney Spears. The song was remade in 2000 by Dweezil and Ahmet Zappa, the sons of the late Frank Zappa, for the movie Ready to Rumble. The Zappa brothers took what was essentially a teenybopper dance song and turned it into a guitar driven, Electronic ballad. Powerpop band Fountains of Wayne would also remake "Hit Me Baby One More Time," releasing it on their album Out of State Plates. Like the Zappas, Fountains of Wayne makes the song guitar driven, essentially a powerpop ballad with sense of tragedy that the original lacked. Denton, Texas band Bowling for Soup also remade "Hit Me Baby One More Time," turning into a guitar driven hard rock tune (almost heavy metal). At any rate, all of these versions are superior to the original. Indeed, before these two cover versions, I didn't even know that the song had stanzas!

Britney wasn't alone in having her hits changed into something else entirely. Madonna has seen her songs remade as well. "Like a Prayer" has been covered no less than three times. Tori Amos performed it live, transforming it into a ballad (it was released on her Live Bootlegs). Amos' version was nothing compared to a punk version released by H20, which sped up the tempo and added lots of guitar. Of course, even H20's version pales beside that of the German electro-industrial band Bigod 20. They somehow made the old Madonna song sound menacing and absolutely creepy. Their version has become something of a cult hit.

Of course, as strange as songs originally made by female artists being twisted into something else by male artists may be, stranger things can happen when there is a complete change of genre. To wit, odd things happen when disco becomes heavy metal or hard rock. "I Will Survive" was originally a disco hit for Gloria Gaynor in 1979. Even then, it was unusual for a disco song in dealing with the more serious subject of surviving a bad relationship. In 1996 on their album Fashion Nugget, Cake turned the song into something else entirely. They took a relatively upbeat disco song, and turned it into a slower, hard rock song complete with the "F" word. That change was mild compared to what White Zombie did to "I'm Your Boogieman" on The Crow City of Angels soundtrack (later released on their EP Supersexy Swingin' Sounds). The original version was released by KC and the Sunshine Band. And like every other KC and the Sunshine Band, I hated it. Somehow White Zombie took this song and turned it into a very good heavy metal song. It actually received a Grammy nomination for Best Heavy Metal Performance.

Heavy metal bands just don't change disco songs when they remake them. Early in their career Judas Priest took two songs and heavy metalised them. One was "Green Manalishi (With the Two-Pronged Crown)." The original had been written by Peter Green and released by Fleetwood Mac back in 1970. It was released in the UK as a single, reaching #10 on the charts. Surprisingly, the Judas Priest cover version wasn't really that far from the original. Oh, it was harder, but the original had been fairly hard to begin with. Regardless, many believe that Judas Priest originally made the song, being unaware of the Fleetwood Mac original. On the other hand, Judas Priest wrought some big changes on Joan Baez's "Diamonds and Rust." The original was a folk-styled song (as might be expected), inspired by Bob Dylan. Judas Priest took the song and turned it into sheer heavy metal, speeding up and making it entirely guitar driven. It was on their 1977 album Sin After Sin.

There have been other unusual remakes over the years. Goth band Type O Negative made Neil Young's "Cinnamon Girl" even harder and turned the Seals and Crofts folk rock song "Summer Breeze" into a something that sounds, well, menacing. Industrial band Godhead made an industrial version of The Beatles' "Eleanor Rigby." Soundgaden remade, of all things, Devo's "Girl U Want." Hair metal band Kik Tracee (which has been totally forgotten these days) made a hair band version of Simon and Garfunkel's "Mrs. Robinson." The Dickies sped up "She" by The Monkees and punked it out (quite frankly, I prefer the original). The Who turned "Summertime Blues" into proto-metal.

If there is one group, however, that is most famous for their bizarre cover versions than their original, it is probably Slovenian industrial band Laibach. They took "Life is Life," a happy, upbeat, reggae type song by Austrian arena band Opus, and turned it into a Wagnerian anthem. They took Queen's "One Vision," a song that is already bigger than life, and made it even bigger than life as "Geburt einer Nation." They turned Eighties, Swedish, hair metal band Europe's song "The Final Countdown" into a Wagnerian opus with a disco beat. They remade all of The Beatles' album Let It Be, save for the title track and "Maggie Mae," complete with marching rhythms and choirs. I am convinced that Laibach is not content to let any song remain the same. I'd hate to see what they would do with "It's My Party..."

I doubt that cover versions that depart dramatically from the original songs will ever go away soon. In fact, given that so many times (as in the case of White Zombie's "I'm Your Boogieman" and the three rock remakes of "Hit Me Baby One More Time") the remakes are far superior to the originals, I don't think I would want them to. I rather suspect that in the next several years, we will see more strange cover songs, and some of them will be even stranger than Alanis Morissette's version of "My Humps."

Underdog the Movie? No, Not Really....

Growing up, my favourite cartoon was Underdog. I watched it loyally when it was on Saturday morning and later when it was in syndication. And I was apparently not alone in my love of the cartoon. The show ran nine years on the networks (NBC and CBS) and then went on to a highly successful syndication run. Arguably, it was one of the most successful Saturday morning cartoons of all time, and remains a fond memory of many a late Baby Boomer and early Gen Xer.

For those of you who are too young to remember Underdog or simply have never heard of it, the show was essentially a funny animal parody of Superman. In reality Underdog was humble, lovable Shoeshine Boy (his name was the same as his occupation). When trouble arose, he would rush to the nearest phone booth and change into Underdog. Like Superman, Underdog could fly, had enormous strength, and was invulnerable to most weapons. Unlike Superman, his powers depended entirely on a "super energy vitamin pills," which he stored in a ring on his finger. And also quite unlike Superman, Underdog was extremely clumsy. It was not unusual for him to fly into buildings, flagpoles, and so on. The closest thing Underdog had to a girlfriend was Sweet Polly Purebread, an anthropomorphic dog like himself who was also a TV reporter. She was always falling into the clutches of some villain, from whom Underdog would have to save her. Underdog's archnemesis was Simon Barsinister, a balding mad scientist based on Lionel Barrymore. His second deadliest enemy was Riff Raff, an anthropomorphic wolf who was also a gangster. Created by Joe Harris (the same man who gave us the Trix Rabbit), Underdog was written in such way that adults could appreciate it as well as children.

It should be obvious that I love Underdog. It is for that reason that I am very unhappy that there is a live action movie based (and I used that term very loosely here) on the classic cartoon. The live action movie is being produced by Spyglass Entertainment and Classic Media and being distributed by Walt Disney Pictures. It is set for an August 3, 2007 release date. Sadly, it bears about as much resemblance to the cartoon as the Scooby-Doo cartoons resemble Underdog. To wit, the movie's plot centres on a dog named Shoeshine who gains superpowers through an experiment gone wrong conducted by Simon Barsinister. Shoeshine is in love with a cocker spaniel named Polly Purebread and befriended (initial reports I saw said "adopted") by a boy. Both Underdog and Polly are being played by real dogs with CGI enhancements.

To say I am not pleased would be an understatement. First, it is clear that the movie will bear very little resemblance to the cartoon. The real Underdog was an anthropomorphic dog who existed in a world where anthropomorphic animals were on an equal standing to human beings. He gained his powers through a super energy vitamin pill, not a lab accident. Polly was not only an anthropomorphic dog, but a TV news reporter. The movie then bears very little resemblance to the TV show, so little that I have to question that it can truly be said to be "based" on it at all. Indeed, the dog playing Shoeshine (and hence Underdog) doesn't even look like the Underdog of the cartoon in the least. And though he is stated to be a beagle, he doesn't look like a beagle to me (he's too big, for one thing). For that matter, "Underdog" doesn't sound like, well, Underdog (in the cartoon Wally Cox would drop his voice a full octave for the hero...). About the only thing Underdog the Movie has in common with the original TV show is a villain called Simon Barsinister (played by Peter Dinklage, who I think probably looks like Simon, provided he is bald in the part).

I rather suspect that Underdog the Movie will be one of the big flops of the summer season. I would actually be surprised if it breaks the top five on its first weekend. Indeed, I wonder for whom they are even making the movie. The film bears so little resemblance to the TV show that adults who remember it fondly will probably not go see it. Indeed, a lot of us are actually incensed at the whole idea behind this movie. As to children, I don't think Underdog carries enough name recognition with kids today for them to be the least bit eager to see the movie. It would seem to me that the movie then effectively has no target audience. It makes me wonder, why they decided to use a concept so far from the original? Why didn't they simply call it "Fido the Wonder Dog?" It sure isn't Underdog.

At any rate, I think a better choice would have been a big budget animated feature based on the TV series, maybe even a computer generated cartoon (as in Pixar). If they had done that they could have developed a concept that is much more loyal to the show and would not alienate every single Underdog fan in the process. Regardless, I am hoping that one good thing might come out of all this. Perhaps they will finally release Underdog uncut, season by season, on DVD, as as they have with Rocky and Bullwinkle. Now that could be worth even a movie that is going to be as bad as this one....

The 70th Anniversary of the Hindenburg Disaster

It was 70 years go that the zeppelin Hindenburg burst into flames upon its arrival at the U.S. Navy mooring mast at Lakehurst, New Jersey. Ultimately the fire would result in the deaths of 35 people on board and one of the ground crew. There were 62 crew members and passengers who survived. The disaster would effectively bring an end to the era of airships.

Before the Hindenburg ever took flight, airships had gone through a long period of development, from the point at which Jean-Pierre Blanchard fitted a hand cranked propeller to a balloon in 1784 to Henri Giffard who piloted a steam powered airship in 1852. It would be Croatian engineer David Schwarz who would develop the first rigid airship (airships in which the envelope's shape is retained through an internal framework). After Schwarz's death his widow sold information about Schwarz's airship to Graf Ferdinand von Zeppelin. Zeppelin made his first flight in 1900 over the Bodenese. Although the flight only lasted 18 minutes, it laid the groundwork for future success. Indeed, Zeppelin's flights were so successful that in 1914 the first airline, DELAG, was founded. Initially, they would use seven rigid airships or zeppelins (as they came to be called, after Graf Zeppelin himself). In World War I both the German Army and Navy would use zeppelins as bombers and scouts. In 1917 Graf Zeppelin died and the Zeppelin Company would then be headed by engineer Dr. Hugo Eckener. Eckener was a visionary who pictured a world in which zeppelins would be used for peace rather than war, in which they would provide transportation around the world. To this end, starting in 1919 the Zeppelin Company began establishing regular routes for flights.

Eventually, the Zeppelin Company would design zeppelins for the U.S. Navy (including the most successful, the U.S.S. Los Angeles). It was in 1935 that the Zeppelin Company decided to build their largest zeppelin ever and the largest single aircraft ever built. The new ship, designated LZ 129, would be christened the Hindenburg, after Paul Von Hindenburg who had been president of the German republic from 1925 to 1934. Needless to say, this decision did not sit well with the Nazi regime (whom Eckener did not care for anyhow). The Hindenburg flew from Germany to the United States and even Brazil. It flew successfully in its first year of service. Unfortunately, the ship (arguably the most beautiful airship ever built) was doomed from the beginning. The Zeppelin Company had wanted to fill it with helium, but the United States military embargo against the Nazis prevented them from buying the precious gas from the U. S. It was then filled with the much more combustible hydrogen. As a result, when it erupted into flames on May 6, 1937, it pretty much went all at once. The disaster was widely covered in the news and would effectively end the era of airships. For decades afterwards, only Goodyear and, during World War II, the U. S. Navy, would make any use of airships at all.

Sadly, the Hindenburg disaster was not the worst zeppelin disaster of all time. That would be the the crash of an American zeppelin, the U.S.S. Akron, on April 3, 1933, which left 73 passengers and crew dead (only three survived). I should mention that the American zeppelins Macon and Shenandoah also met with bad ends (in 1935 the Macon hit a storm which sank it, killing 76 of the crew; in 1925 the Shenandoah was torn apart by a thuderstorm--miraculously 29 of its crew survived). And no zeppelin disaster matched the worst aeroplane disaster. That would be the Tenerife Disaster, which happened on March 27, 1977 when a KLM Boeing 747 tried to take off and crashed with a taxing Pan Am 747 at Los Rodeos airport. The disaster took the lives of 583 people. Indeed, when it came to air safety, zeppelins had a remarkable track record. Until the Hindenburg disaster, the Zeppelin Company's safety record under Dr. Eckener's leadership was perfect. Not one passenger was lost. In America the U.S.S. Los Angeles operated from 1924 to 1932. It lost none of its crew in that whole time. In fact, in 1927 high winds even caused the airship while on the mooring mast at Lakehurst to be lifted almost vertically before the crew could level her out. Amazingly, none of the crew was lost and what is more, it suffered minimal damage! Sadly, it was decommissioned after the Akron disaster and dismantled in 1939. It had the longest career of any airship in history. Despite many of the disasters, over all zeppelins had a better track record than heavier than air craft have. Sadly, between the Akron, Macon, Shenandoah, and Hindenburg disasters, it would seem zeppelins have gotten a bad rap.

Of course, in the past few years zeppelins have made a bit of a comeback. Cargolifter AG pictured an airship, larger than the Hindenburg, which could lift heavy loads. Sadly, the company went bankrupt in 2002. Airship Industries built airships in the Eighties with some success. While the company folded in 1990, they were taken over by Westinghouse, who later sold their airship and surveillance systems arms to Aviation Support Group Ltd., forming Global Skyship Industries. It is still in operation. Zeppelin Company started building airships once more in the 1990s. They created an experimental craft in 1997, designated the Zeppelin NT. Smaller than the zeppelins of old and only semi-rigid, the Zeppelin NT and its sister blimps were not true zeppelins. In 2005 De Beers, the diamond mining company, started using airships to explore Kalahari desert for diamonds.

And while the Hindenburg disaster would end was I hope what was only the First Era of Airships, it would not end the public's fascination with them. In literature airships have been a favourite for over a century. In literature both Jules Verne and H. G. Wells explored the possibilities of airships (Verne's Clipper of the Clouds and Wells' The War in the Air). Mark Twain featured a small airship in the short story "Tom Sawyer, Aeronaut" and a manoeuvrable balloon in the novel Tom Sawyer, Abroad. Ruyard Kipling's ABC series took place in a world where airships were used for both passenger and cargo service. Edgar Rice Burroughs featured airships as one of the means of travel on Barsoom in his John Carter of Mars series. In the Doc Savage novels from the pulp magazine of the same name, among Doc's many vehicles stored at his warehouse labelled "The Hidalgo Trading Company" was a super-advanced, silver airship. A lost airship also figured in the Doc Savage novel The Lost Oasis in Doc Savage Magazine Volume 2 issue 1, September 1933. Lester Dent, the creator of Doc Savage, also wrote a series called "Zeppelin Tales (recently collected and published in an anthology of that name by Heliograph)." Dent wrote the stories from 1930 to 1932, prior to his long career with Doc Savage, and the stories not only feature zeppelins, but such things as pirates (in the air, nonetheless...), cannibals, and even a private detective! Of course, Dent wasn't the only pulp writer who wrote about airships. Airships figured in many early pulp adventures ("The Airship Boys" series dates to 1909). As might be expected, zeppelins figured in pulp stories about the Great War.

Airships even appear in recent literature. Quite naturally, they feature in historical fiction. Len Deighton's novel about Berlin from 1920 to the rise of Hitler, Winter, quite naturally features zeppelins. Max Alan Collins' The Hindenburg Murders is a mystery based on the Hindenburg disaster. Cameron Dokey's Hindenburg 1937 is a romance set on the famous zeppelin. Of course, airships have figured in science fiction, particularly the steampunk subgenre. Poul Anderson's dystopic short shory "The Sky People" featured a post apocalyptic world in which raiders preyed on people on the ground in scientifically advanced blimps. Michael Moorcock's alternate history The Warlord of the Air posits a world where World War I never occurred and even in 1973 airships are still used. In the Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman, airships are the most common method of travel. Airships figure prominently in Philip Jose Farmer's Riverworld series, Fitzpatrick's War by Theodore Judson, Airborn by Kenneth Oppel, and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen graphic novel by Alan Moore and Kevin O'Neill. In the Wild Cards series, the potentially deadly Wild Card virus (which can mutate people into superheros, mutate them into twisted creations called Jokers, or simply kill them) is delivered over Broadway by the insidious Dr. Tod in an airship. Only Jetboy prevents the disaster from being worse. In the novel The Never War, one of many by D.J. MacHale featuring teen hero Bobby Pendragon, the Hindenburg figures prominently in the plot. It also figures in the novel Chronospace by Allen Steele. Over the years, airships in general and the Hindenburg in specific has appeared in several documentaries and on series about history and technology.

Airshps have also figured in movies. In 1931 the classic Hell's Angels featured scenes of zeppelin bombers (it's a wonder Howard Hughes didn't try to build one for the movie or at least try to rent one from the U. S. Navy...). The Assassination Bureau, released in 1969, included a zeppelin in its climax. The 1971 movie Zeppelin featured a British pilot (played by Michael York) infiltrating a German zeppelin bombing mission. In 1975 The Hindenburg was a highly fictionalised account of the Hindenburg disaster. In the Bond movie A View to the Kill, villain Max Zorin featured one of Airship Industries' Skyship 500 series. The film made an error in claiming inflation only took two minutes (in reality, even blimps can take a day to fill). The third Indiana Jones movie, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, included a zeppelin (which Indy and his father board). In The Rockeeteer (one of the great underrated superhero movies), the climax takes place aboard the fictional zeppelin Luxembourg (apparently the Hindenburg disaster either never took place or did not impede the progress of airships). An airship is used to travel through Egypt in The Mummy Returns. In Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (another regrettably underrated movie), Dr. Jorge Vargas disappears aboard the fictional zeppelin Hindenburg III (again, it seems that airships continued to be used extensively in the world of this film after 1937--the film is set in 1939). The recent film Flyboys mines much the same territory as Hell's Angels, but goes it one better--it features an aerial battle with a zeppelin! As might be expected, airships appear in anime. Hayao Miyazaki's Castle in the Sky features huge zeppelins complete with cannon. In his movie Howl's Moving Castle airships are used as a means of travel. In Kiki's Delivery Service, a blimp catches on a building.

Airships have also appeared on television. In the fifth season episode of the TV show The Waltons, "The Inferno," John Boy wins a contest sponsored by a news service and unfortunately wins a chance to cover the Hindenburg's arrival at Lakehurst on May 6, 1936 (I must admit I never found this episode particularly realistic--it would have been like myself as a teen getting to cover the Iran Hostage Crisis...). The Duff Blimp appears in The Simpsons "Lisa the Beauty Queen," where it goes up in flames like the famed Hindenburg. On Dr. Who, in the 2005 episode "The Empty Child," blimps figure prominently. In the 2006 two part episode of the same series, "Rise of the Cybermen/The Age of Steel," zeppelins appear prominently. The 1995 Adventures of Batman and Robin episode "Showdown" features my favourite appearance of an airship on TV. In the episode the Dynamic Duo discover a cassette tape belonging to Ra's al Ghul in which he relates how he tried to destroy the railroad in the American Old West using a steampunk style airship (it looked like a zeppelin to me). He is stopped only by DC Comics' legendary Western bounty hunter Jonah Hex (in his first appearance on film). The episode reminded me of the old TV show The Wild Wild West. Indeed, the plot of the movie Wild Wild West (which ravaged the TV show, in my opinion) resembles the plot of this episode to a suspicious degree. The Discovery Channel's Mythbusters (easily one of the funnest shows on TV) once tested the many theories about what caused the Hindenburg to explode.

Airships have even figured in music. Calypso artist Attilla the Hun recorded the song "Graf Zeppelin" in commemoration of that zeppelin's visit to Trinidad while travelling from Rio de Janeiro to Chicago. In 1969 Captain Beefheart featured a song called "The Blimp (mousetrapreplica)," based on the newsreel footage of the Hindenburg disaster. And as is well known, the group Led Zeppelin took its name from a quote from The Who drummer Keith Moon about the band going down like "a lead zeppelin (the spelling was changed for fear daft Americans might mispronounce the world "lead")." Their first album featured artwork by George Hardie based on the Hindenburg disaster. A zeppelin also figured in the cover of the their second album. In 1992 Pink Floyd used the the Division Belle blimps in their tour (one travelled across North America, the other Europe). Electronic group VNV Nation featured a song called "Airships" on their album Futureperfect in 2002. Huddie Ledbetter wrote a two part song called "The Hindenburg Disaster."

Despite our continued fascination with airships, the Hindenburg disaster effectively ended their extensive use. While not even the worst zeppelin disaster, it was one in which 35 people lost their lives. The arrival of the Hindenburg at Lakehurst was big news and reporters from the newspapers and newsreels were present. Chicago radio station WLS had assigned Herbert Morrison to cover the airship's arrival at Lakehurst. Instead he found himself covering a disaster taking place before his eyes. His vivid description, in total shock, complete with the famous words "Oh, the humanity," have become famous on their own. Newsreel camera were also covering the zeppelin's arrival, capturing its destruction on film. Morrison's narration would later be added to the newsreel footage. Between the loss of life and the coverage of the disaster, it is little wonder that it would bring the end of airships. Sadly, we still do not know what caused the disaster to this day.

I have always found the Hindenburg disaster to be one of the saddest events in recent history. It is not simply the loss of life, which was indeed a tragedy, but that it brought an end to a mode of transportation on the whole safer than aeroplanes. Obviously, from this article one can tell I love airships. And I obviously hope that airships will make a comeback. I am frightened to death of planes (I am not scared of heights--but anything that can kill up to 300 people at once frightens me a lot--even the Akron had survivors...), but I would gladly board an airship any day. Sadly, I don't know if we'll ever see their return. There has been renewed interest in them since the Eighties. At one time only Goodyear made airships. Today there are several companies building airships. Even Zeppelin has started building them again, although, sadly, Goodyear no longer mass produces blimps. With any luck, perhaps we will see the return of the airships of old.

Spider-Man 3

If you are expecting Spider-Man 3 to be the best so far of the franchise, I have to warn you that you will be disappointed. Of the three movies, it is the least of them all. That having been said, if you go in simply expecting a superhero movie with some good action scenes, some great special effects, and some humourous moments, then you might well get what you paid for.

To a large degree the problems that prevent Spider-Man 3 from being as good as either Spider-Man or Spider-Man 2 were simply bad choices made from the very beginning. One of these was the decision that Spider-Man 3 would feature three villains. Originally, Sam Raimi wanted to use Harry Osborn (as The New Goblin), Sandman, and The Lizard (who is Dr. Connors transformed into a bipdedal lizard, for those who haven't read the comic books). Avi Arad, then president of Marvel Comics claimed that he needed to use Venom because "The fans love Venom. He is the fan-favorite. All Spider-Man readers love Venom...(which only tells me that Arad was really out of touch with his fans)," so Venom was in and The Lizard was out. Either way, I think three villains is bit too much for any one superhero movie. Ultimately, one of the villains is going to be given far little screen time and is going to come off as more of a caricature than a character. This was a problem that plagued the later entries in the Nineties Batman franchise. While Spider-Man 3 does not suffer quite as much as the later Batman films, it does suffer. While The New Goblin and Sandman are well developed characters, Venom is little more than a cardboard cutout--a comic book monster for our hero to defeat.

Of course, this brings me to another bad choice, namely the use of Venom. If they had to use a third villain, The Lizard would have been a better choice. Contrary to Avi Arad, most Spider-Man fans I know actively hate Venom. Quite simply, he is a product of the Eighties fad in comic books towards "dark" characters. And Venom still displays the traits of such characters. He has no personality of which to speak. He has no complex motivations for his crimes. To sum it up, he is just a cardboard monster created for our hero to fight. While part of the reason Venom appears to be such a simple character in the movie is that it dedicates only a little screen time to him (preferring to devote it to Flint Marko, AKA The Sandman, Harry Osborn, and Peter and Mary Jane), that is only part of the reason. The other (and perhaps more important) part is that the comic books gave screen writers, Sam Raimi, Ivan Raimi, and Alvin Sargent, very little to work with. Even in the comic books, Venom is not much of a character. Even in the comic books he is a walking cliche.

Another bad choice to me was the inclusion of Gwen Stacy. No, I am wrong. Actually, the bad choice as utilising Mary Jane as Peter's love interest from the first movie onwards instead of Gwen Stacy. Let me make something perfectly clear, in the comic books at least, Gwen Stacy has always been Peter's one true love. The only reason that he ever wound up with Mary Jane was that Gwen was brutally murdered by the original Green Goblin (that's right, Norman Osborn) in a historic issue from which the first film took its climax (Amazing Spider-Man #121, June-July 1973, if you afford to buy it...). Including Gwen in this film, especially as mere eye candy and a paper rival for Mary Jane seems to me an insult to all of us fans who had hoped Gwen would be featured as his true love in the first movie. Let's face it, would the average person had been happy with the classic Christopher Reeves Superman if Lana Lang instead of Lois Lane had been his one true love in that film?

Of course, this brings me to another bad choice on the part of the screenwriters. Quite simply, that was to add unneeded complications to Peter's romance with Mary Jane. Indeed, at one point Spider-Man 3 simply descends into soap opera. Personally, I could feel the rest of the audience getting restless for the next action scene. And, quite frankly, I found Mary Jane to be a very unsympathetic character in the earlier part of the movie. Instead of being happy that Peter is finally being appreciated for saving lives and risking his own life as Spider-Man, she expresses frustration that he isn't paying enough attention to her because of her failing acting career (never mind, that he showed up to her debut performance in a Broadway musical, has always told her she has talent, and expressed plenty of sympathy for her when things started going bad for her where acting is concerned...). At one point Peter even apologises to her for being selfish; from where I sat, Mary Jane was the one who needed to apologise.... Maybe it was poor writing, but Mary Jane just came off as self-centred, clingy, and selfish in the first half of the movie to me.

Here I should state that, despite my rants above, I did not hate Spider-Man 3. Although it has its flaws and it isn't as good as the first two movies, it is worth seeing. In fact, I dare say that Thomas Haden Church's performance as Flint Marko is worth the price of admission. Flint Marko is ultimately a tragic figure, a man forced into a life of crime by the economic realities of his world. Worse yet, he finds himself transformed into The Sandman. Church, whose talent I've admired since the late, great Ned and Stacey, easily gives the best performance in the film. Also worth seeing is J. K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jamesson, who, as in the first two films, is easily the funniest character in the movie. And Stan Lee has his best cameo yet!

And while the film has no fight scenes that match the battles royale between Doc Ock and Spidey from the second film, it has some impressive fight scenes nonetheless. There is an early struggle between Peter and The New Goblin which is very good (I must say, I have to admire what Harry did with his father's technology). As impressive as the fight scenes with The New Goblin are, however, they pale compared to the fights between Spidey and The Sandman. Sam Raimi certainly makes the most of the character, utilising his power to change himself into mouldable sand to its full advantage. While the climax to the film does not match that of the second film, it is still impressive, with Spidey facing both The Sandman and Venom. Worse still, The Sandman apparently has more sand at his disposal...

Here I must point out that the special effects in Spider-Man 3 are perhaps the best of any of the films. The Sandman is realised as a realstic looking character--at no point when he changes into sand does it look like CGI. And the extraterrestrial goo that becomes Spidey's new suit (and later something else entirely...) is wonderfully made real. Indeed, here I must point out one of the film's charms is that Sam Raimi has not lost his touch when it comes to pop culture references. The sequence in which a meteor delivers the goo to Earth is a great homage to that classic bit of schlock, The Blob. And like the other movies, the film features yet another great cameo by Bruce Campbell (whom I would love to see appear as Kraven the Hunter in one of the movies to come). Yet another great sequence is when of Jameson's advisors tells him which papers in New York are doing better than the Bugle (even the Daily News!).

Over all, Spider-Man 3 is worth seeing. But I have to warn you that you should not expect a film as good as the first two. And I must also warn you that you will have to sit through some long sequences in which there is little to no action. Ultimately, however, I would say that the movie does have its rewards.

Wither the CW?

The TV season is almost over, the first such season for the new network created by the merger of UPN and the WB. And I have to wonder now if the UPN and the WB would have been better off remaining separate networks. What is worse, CW seems to be intent on killing what few reasons anyone has to watch the network.

It was just this week that it was announced that this would be the final season for The Gilmore Girls. I must confess that I never watched the show regularly. It was the last show that my mother ever watched, and for a long time I could not watch because it would bring up memories of her death. But I liked it very much when I did watch it. It was a smart, witty show that deserved a bigger audience than it had. And now it's gone.

I also never watched 7th Heaven regularly, but I always admired it as one of the few family dramas in the history of television I could watch without gagging. It was well written, well acted, and sincere, without being overly sentimental. Sadly, this is also its last season.

The fate of Veronica Mars is up in the air at the moment. If the show does return, it is possible that it might do so with a change in format. The show, which took teen detective Mars from high school to college, would jump four years into the future, where Veronica would be an FBI agent. I cannot say the idea appeals to me. I fear it would take away much of the show's charm. But then I suppose it might be better than seeing the show cancelled.

Fortunately, I have heard nothing about Everybody Hates Chris being cancelled or even in danger of cancellation. It is easily one of the best sitcoms on television and I am shocked that is on the CW rather than one of the Big Four.

Of course, with Gilmore Girls and 7th Heaven gone, and Veronica Mars possibly going, it begs the question as to what will be left to watch on the CW beyond Everybody Hates Chris? If you ask me, not a Hell of a lot. I know that Smallville has a loyal following. As to America's Top Model, I think I would rather watch professional wrestling... Not that I am going to be watching Friday Night Smackdown any time soon.

All of this wouldn't be so sad if it weren't for the fact that the WB produced some remarkable shows in its time. This was the network of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, The Gilmore Girls, and Charmed. The UPN went downhill after it shifted its emphasis to urban comedies, but it did produce the series Nowhere Man, Star Trek: Voyager, and Star Trek: Enterprise, Veronica Mars, and Everybody Hates Chris. On the other hand, the CW seems to have produced nothing of note so far. And I don't think this bodes well for the future. As I said earlier, maybe it would have been better if the WB and UPN had not merged....

Two Character Actors Pass On

Two character actors, each of their faces familiar from several television appearances, died recently.

The first was Dabs Greer, who passed on Saturday at the age of 90 from complications from heart and kidney disease. Greer was born April 2, 1917 in Fairview, Missouri. While still a baby his family moved to Anderson, Missouri. He started acting at the age 8 in children's theatre productions. He attended Drury College in Springfield, Missouri. From 1940 to 1943 he headed the Little Theatre in Mountain Grove, Missouri. He later moved to the Pasadena Playhouse in California.

He made his film debut in 1938 while still living in Missouri. He was an extra in Jesse James. Greer appeared in small, uncredited, movie roles for a few years before finally guest starring in an episode of Dick Tracy (1950) as Shakey. From then on most of his work would be in television. Greer guest starred on The Lone Ranger, Father Knows Best, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Adventures of Superman, The Twilight Zone, Bonanza, and several other series. He had a recurring role on Gunsmoke as storekeeper Wilbur Jonas, on Little House on the Prairie as preacher Reverend Robert Alden, minister Reverend Henry Novotny on Picket Fences, and Grandpa Fred Stage on Maybe It's Me.

Greer eventually graduated from uncredited movie roles to more substantial material. He appeared in Invasion of the Body Snatchers, It! The Terror from Outer Space, and The Cheyenne Social Club. His remembered movie role may have been as the older Paul Edgecomb (Tom Hanks' character) in The Green Mile.

The other actor to die recently was both a recognisable face to many and very well known. Tom Poston was a regular on many TV shows, appeared in movies, and even acted on Broadway. He died Monday at the age of 85 from a brief illness.

Tom Poston was born in Columbus, Ohio. He attended Bethany College in Bethany, West Virginia, but dropped out during World War II to join the U. S. Army Air Corps. He served in the European Theatre, reaching the rank of Captain. After the war he went to New York City to study acting at the American Academy of Dramatic Art.

He made his first appearance on Broadway in 1947 in Cyrano de Bergerac, in which he played five different roles. Poston would go onto appear on Broadway in Stockade in 1954, Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter in 1955, The Conquering Hero in 1961, and in the revival of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum in 1972.

Poston made his television debut in 1950 in an episode of Lights Out. He would appear in episodes of Studio One and Goodyear Television Playhouse before his first claim to fame, as the amnesiac in the "Man in the Street" interviews on The Steven Allen Show in 1956. Poston would go onto guest star in such shows as The Phil Silvers Show, The Defenders, Get Smart, St. Elsewhere, and Good Morning, Miami. He was a regular on such shows as On the Rocks, Good Grief, Mork and Mindy, and Grace Under Fire. He was a regular panellist on To Tell the Truth and What's My Line. Perhaps his most famous TV role as the clueless handy man George Utley on Newhart.

On film Poston appeared in The 1963 version of The Old Dark House, Cold Turkey, and The Story of Us.

He made his first appearance on Broadway in Stockade in 1954.

Concept Albums Part Three

For much of the Sixties and Seventies, concept albums were largely the province of progressive rock, heavy metal, and art rock bands. That is not to say that popular artists did not release concept albums in the Sixties and Seventies (obviously The Beatles and The Who are popular), but that this would become more common place in the Eighties.

Indeed, no less than AOR band Styx released a concept album in January of 1981. Paradise Theatre is the story of the fictional Paradise Theatre in Chicago. Through the Theatre, Styx chronicled the changes in America in the late Twentieth Century. The album hit the #1 spot on Billboard's Albums Chart, and produced six hit singles. Styx would release another concept album in 1983. Kilroy was Here portrays a future United States where rock music is outlawed by the Majority for Musical Morality (keep in mind this was before the advent of the PMRC). The album centred on Kilroy, a former rock star who helps young Jonathan Chance bring rock music back. The album was conceived as a stage show, although its tour would fare badly in ticket sales. That having been said, the album did do well. It hit number 3 on the Billboard albums chart and produced four hit singles.

Unfortunately, not every band was nearly as successful with their concept album as Styx was. Music from the Elder by KISS could best be described as the soundtrack to a movie that was never made. It centres on a young boy who is recruited by the Council of Elders for their Order of the Rose, a group meant to combat evil. The course of the album follows him from his recruitment to finally becoming a hero. Despite a good concept and some good songs, Music from the Elder would do the worst of any KISS album before or since. It was the first KISS album to fail to go gold since Dressed to Kill.

Electric Light Orchestra, who had released the concept album El Dorado in the Seventies, fared much better with Time. Released in August 1981, the album concerned a man from the 1980s who is kidnapped and taken to the year 2095 by scientists. The album would go to #1 in the United Kingdom and to #16 in the United States.

That is not to say that popular artists were the only ones releasing concept albums in the Eighties. Progressive rock and heavy metal bands continued to do so. Blue Oyster Cult released its first concept album in 1988. Imaginos centres upon a secret history and child modified by alien gods. If the concept sounds strange, then it is a strange album, even for Blue Oyster Cult.

Iron Maiden would also release a concept album in 1988. Seventh Son of a Seventh Son centres on a man with psychic abilities who tries to warn a hamlet of the impending Apocalypse. The album did very well. It went to #1 in the United Kingdom and #12 in the United States.

Perhaps the most notable concept album of the Eighties was Operation: Mindcrime by Queensryche. The album centred on a young man named Nikki who falls under the spell of the insidious Dr. X, who brainwashes him into performing assassinations. The plot shows some influence from the classic movie The Manchurian Candidate and to a lesser extent George Orwell's book 1984. While the album only went to #50 on the Billboard album charts and produced only one hit single, its songs (particularly "I Don't Believe in Love") received a good deal of FM radio airplay. Queensryche would create a live show based on the album, which was released on video as Operation: LIVEcrime. In terms of its influence, it may well have been more successful than its chart position would lead one to think. Other progressive metal bands, such as Dream Theatre, obviously felt is impact. At any rate, I remember discussing the various questions raised by the album with friends for hours. Queensryche would release a sequel last year, Operation: Mindcrime II, in which Nikki plots his revenge against Dr. X.

The Nineties and Naughts saw fewer concept albums than the previous two decades. I find it difficult to say why, although it must be pointed out that the popularity of both progressive rock and heavy metal was at its lowest in the Nineties. And the artists of the dominant rock subgenre of the early Nineties, grunge, seemed ill disposed to release concept albums. Still a few concept albums have been released since the Eighties.

One was The Crimson Idol by heavy metal band W.A.S.P. It centred on a fictional rock star named Jonathan whose fame leads to his ruin. It was released in 1992. In the Naughts W.A.S.P. would release a two part concept album, The Neon God Part 1: the Rise and The Neon God Part 2: the Demise. It centres on a boy who learns he has the power to read and manipulate people.

In 1996 shock rocker Marilyn Manson would release Antichrist Superstar. It centred on a young man (The Worm) who goes from childhood insecurity to rock stardom. the album itself would go to #3 on the Billboard charts and three of its singles would hit Billboard's Rock Tracks chart. Marilyn Manson would release other concept albums, including Mechanical Animals and Holy Wood.

The Naughts would be sparse with regards to concept albums much as the Nineties had been. In 2002 Tori Amos released Scarlet's Walk. The album centred on the journeys made cross country by the title character. As might be expected of Amos, Scarlet's Walk is complex. Lou Reed would release a concept album the following year called The Raven. The songs on the album were all based on the stories and poems of Edgar Allen Poe.

In 2006 My Chemical Romance would release a concept album called The Black Parade. The album centres on a character only known as "The Patient," who is dying of cancer. The album went to #2 on both the United Kingdom album charts and the United States' Billboard album charts.

It would be just this year that would see the release of Year Zero by Nine Inch Nails. Trent Reznor described it as a "concept album" that could be about the end of the world. Reznor has said that he is in talks about a movie based on the album. There is also an alternate reality game (a game with an interactive storyline that uses the real world as a platform) of the same name, based on the album. The album has done very well, hitting #2 on Billboard's album charts and #6 on the United Kingdom's albums charts. It seems it could be the most influential concept album to come out in a long time.

It is difficult to tell if the success of Year Zero will lead to more concept albums. The Nineties did not produce too many concept albums. And it seems that the Naughts haven't done so either. In some ways this is sad, as concept albums give artists the chance to express themselves in an extended format that can use more complex ideas than a three minute song would allow. I suppose that only the coming years will tell if we will see the return of the concept album or not.